All You Need Is A Love Of Heat
by Mystikat
Summary: Maybe they love each other because of what they shouldn't do together. Maybe the wrong is what makes it right. Puck/Quinn, spoilers for first season. Dysfunctional sexytimes and swearing within.


**All You Need Is A Love Of Heat**

For the first few months after Beth is brought into this world, they treat each other more tenderly than anyone would have thought possible of them before joining glee club (and even then). When they walk together, he holds her hand, fingers intertwined, and she'll brush her lips along his jaw. When they kiss, she gasps and sighs into his mouth, filled with the memory of "yes, especially now" and how, for once in his life, Puck said the absolute perfect thing at the perfect time and in that moment she loved him too. She loves him every time she thinks about it.

(She cares deeply the rest of the time, almost like how it was with Finn. She tells him she loves him even in the not-true moments, though, because she's a better person than before all of this. She thinks there's nothing wrong with a lie, this time, if no one gets hurt in the telling of it.

Quinn is still learning her lesson.)

It all starts coming apart in September, after having sex for the second time, the first time in a real relationship and completely dead sober. They both secretly think it was better when she was drunk, because that's the only difference that's really evident to them. She can't think it, but he wonders if this "real relationship" business might be what's clogging up the works. Maybe, just maybe, they wanted it the first time _because_ it was so wrong. It had been the best he ever had, now it can't even beat out the best hand job (which are fucking sweet but no contest for the press and glide).

It just doesn't occur to them that it was because they hated each other a little bit.

The whole bad sex issue isn't enough to make them call it quits, and the outward reaction is subtle; the stop holding hands all the time, she doesn't initiate contact like she used to, and she thinks a little (only a little) less of his perfection at the perfect time. They start trying to capture perfection in bed instead.

They have an explosive fight at the start of winter term. Being Juniors this year also means pamphlets for college, PSATs, meetings with Ms. Pillsbury to discuss potential paths for the future. Puck blows it all off. It starts little arguments and tense moments that always seem to include the phrases "tell me how this doesn't make you a Lima loser" and "just go ahead and leave me behind if that's how you feel" and "if you loved me you'd come with me". The one time she tries to study with him for the PSATs, he lasts five minutes before he drags her flat over his bed by her ankle from where she was sitting against his pillows and says "fuck this, I'd rather be fucking you." She doesn't know what comes over her, but she bites his lip (tastes blood, with grim satisfaction) and shoves him off her, practically spitting with rage. He touches a finger to his lip, looks at the blood on his finger, looks at her. Up until then they'd been as gentle and soft in bed as if their bones would shatter if they were anything but. He lunges at her, flips her onto her belly and keeps her pinned that way with one hand while the other slides up one thigh, she bucks and struggles until he leans down and bites the lobe of her ear. Going still, she listens as he tells her "you owe me" as he smears a droplet of blood on her inner thigh.

She gets on her hands and knees for him that night. It's the first time they're done anything but missionary.

Quinn doesn't bring up his (their) future beyond high school after that. When they hold hands now it's like they're trying to break bones, and it's only occasionally that she remembers that she loves him. (He loves her more often than not, but sometimes it's hard when she turns her head and presents her cheek and not her lips for his kiss.)

The more frustrated they get with each other, the rougher the sex becomes, and the less times it takes place in an actual bed. God is good, and forgiving, and maybe not all that concerned about what sexual positions she gets into, but might frown upon the reasons she gets into them.

Late Spring, Puck goes a little crazy. He thinks about his daughter, now a year old, about how they gave her up and were just left with... them, and this thing, this fucked up mess. He thinks if she were here he'd at least be able to hold on to love for longer than a year. Quinn's love, because God knows he's still in the game, even if she's leaving him behind. Like every little fucking thing he loves.

He is revolting in his self-pity, and he knows it.

Quinn comes over, because good girls are supposed to be good girlfriends (she has a lot to make up for) and good girlfriends give a damn when their boyfriend doesn't attend school for a week. She finds him drunk at 10 a.m. brooding over the glee year book picture. When she sits beside her, quiet, waiting, he says "it's all a joke" and she wants to yell because _no, it's not_ and that picture meant something to her, to glee club, to Mr, Schuster who needed it to happen, and to Puck too if he had his head out of his ass. She asks him instead what he's been drinking.

He laughs, "sorry, babe, I don't have anymore wine-coolers for you" and she doesn't know why, or maybe she does, but she slaps him. It's not a light tap either. He just stares at her so she does it again, and again, and she's so angry that she forgets about what God thinks of any of this. She just does what feels good, even if it makes her bad.

He grabs her wrists, she kicks him in the stomach. He heaves, still holding on to her but leaning over to the side to vomit in the waste bin by his desk. Then he kisses her and it's nauseating and _the stink_ of stomach acid makes her want to puke-she's cursing him out in-between kisses until he slides his tongue into her mouth and she just bites down without thinking. When he draws back he's smiling, and suddenly she wants him in her, _anywhere_, and moves forward for his kiss. He lets go of her wrists, hands move up to his head, the nails (perfectly painted and trimmed) dig into his scalp. It hurts, his jaw hurts, he hates her just a little bit for what she's done to him, but he loves her even more for it.

It's the first time she's been on top in their relationship, barking out "you can do better than this" and "don't make me waste my time" and pleasured sobs toward the end with a broken "why can't I ever just be good?"

He wraps her hair around his hand and pulls, growls that he can help her be a good girl if she's willing to earn it. She finds release at that.

Later, she is lying on him sated and sore. "You know you have to stop punishing yourself, right?"

His eyes are closed, he nods.

She whispers "let me do it for you."

Eyes still closed, something like a smile forms on his lips.

The next day, they hold hands walking down the hallway, fingers intertwined, and no one lets go and no one is left behind.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Prompt; Glee, Puck (gen or /Quinn), _kiss with a fist is better than none. _

Title from Aimee Mann's "The Moth".

For _The Other Side _followers who want to know what the fuck this is and where's the next chapter of Santana/Brittany goodness my answer is… I'm working on it. No really, they're turning into really long chapters at this point.


End file.
